When it comes to the holiday season, the four of us Buckners have a serious disease. We’ll call this rare disease Telluitis (pronounced “Tell-you-itis”). Symptoms of this affliction include; buying a gift and then telling the person what you have bought for them, telling a person what you want or plan to buy for them, giving an already purchased gift to the person well before the holiday/birthday/anniversary.
Case in point: My mom took Christopher Christmas shopping last week. I sent him to the mall with an envelope of money, and he came home with an empty envelope and a huge smile on his face. “Mama, I bought you TOMS. Black TOMS and a gold necklace with gold ovals on it. And Emmy, I bought you the Goldilicious book, you’re gonna love it. Daddy, I bought TOMS for you too, I bought them to match my TOMS so we can be twins!”
Second example: I came home from Christmas shopping. “Johnny, we’re officially old because I just bought you the most boring stocking stuffers ever, socks and underwear!”
Third: I am typing this post on my Mac – Johnny’s 2012 Christmas gift to me. He gave it to me six weeks ago, but he couldn’t help it, he has one of the worst cases of Telluitis I have ever witnessed.
Finally: My mother just called and told me she got us a big throw blanket for Christmas. It appears as if this disorder is rapidly spreading to my entire family.
There is no cure for this illness, and it seems to be getting worse with each holiday season. Therefore, if you are in our gift giving life, be warned: Your present will most likely be spoiled weeks before you are to open it. However, when you are handed the wrapped gift, we will need you to appear genuinely surprised. Thank you for your understanding.